Abstruse Musing

The real definitive moment within our life is when we come to terms with the fact that what we want cannot be attained. You know what I'm talking about. Remember those dreams you secretly harboured? It is suffice to say that, I too have experienced this. Perhaps many of you have too. Back in my final two years in high school, I was determined to gain entry to one of the medical programs. Despite having personal problems on the horizon, I made sure that I kept trying. I sat the UMAT, my principal helped me with my application and said that I had potential. I even attended an interview with the university academics, I really was convinced that I could live up to my aspirations of the future. But in the end, that just wasn't enough. My personal problems got the best of me and sometimes I still regret it. For a long time, I didn't know how to accept my own failure. I was compelled to write this after someone confided in me about meeting disappointment, I hope this post h...

Did you ever pay attention when your maths teacher was talking about corresponding angles and congruent lines? Think back to one of the first lessons, specifically, parallel lines. Two lines the same distance apart, within the same plane and travelling in the same direction. Regardless of how much these two lines have in common, they never intersect nor meet. Over the last years, I've come to realise that I can't overcome this parallelism obstacle. But I suppose, like most things, it depends on how you choose to approach the problem. With conventional geometry, the parallel lines remain within constant distance and fail to meet, even at infinity. Consider ecliptic geometry, eventually the parallel lines close the distance between one another and intersect. Alternatively, hyperbolic geometry dictates the lines swerve further from the point of intersection. What if relationships are just like Euclid's parallel postulate? Well so far, the hyperbolic approach hasn't ...

I’ve known P for five years now and I consider her as one of my closest friends. We confide in each other when we’re unhappy and angry. I knew exactly when P had fallen in love with someone from work. I saw the look in their eyes and I immediately knew that something had happened between the both of them. I was genuinely happy for them, they looked so virtuous together. But I’ve learned that where there are people, there will always be talk. And so talk within the workplace spread and eventually took it’s toll on their relationship. No one at work knew about it, so they ended it quietly and swiftly.  P and I had each other when things went sour in our relationships. For P, it was the very first time she fell unconditionally and irrevocably in love with someone. The difference between our situation is that I did not have to see my ex at all. P had to go in to work with a brave face and pretend that they never happened.  A year from then, she told me she still loves him. She kn...

I don't cope very well with insecurity, I never have. Today I was paralyzed by insecurity, I completely broke down. I lost my wallet either during or after my lunch break at work. I couldn't find it any where, I've never lost something as important as my wallet. I just broke down in tears and stopped working completely. I was dysfunctional. I called a few friends to talk, just to keep me sane. Before that, I just kept walking around in circles and proclaiming all sort of profanities. I'm relieved two friends came to pick me up from work. Eventually my wallet was handed in to the information desk. Everything remained, all but the money. But that's fine. Today was indeed, a grey day I hated. I bought this owl at the end of my lunch break, the shop keeper told me it was for good luck. Maybe it was good luck after all, I got my wallet back eventually. I'm as stubborn as a mule. I grew up doing everything on my own, I rarely ever want help. I want to solve every...

When I was a kid, we did abseiling at camp. After that experience, my fear of heights did not alleviate but rather reinforced itself. It took a lot of courage for me to even climb up that cliff and look down at the nervous faces below. I stood over the edge of the cliff, leaned backwards and started taking a few steps down the cliff. Well the person in charge of the ropes sort of let out too much rope, so I went sliding down more than half of the cliff. I think I have every reason to be afraid after that. A friend and I decided to go to the fair, we came across the  chained carousel pictured above. The fear of heights was mutual between us, but we decided to give it a go. We sat down in the seats and noticed the children were unable to contain their excitement. We merely exchanged worried glances. I was concerned that the chain might snap whilst I was in mid air and I would be propelled to my inevitable death. What if I accidentally kicked the little girl seated in front of me...

Dear A, I never once stopped to consider that talking to you would be so detrimental. I've driven a person to lose all hope. You'll never see this because I never wanted you to. But I'm sorry. I thought we could remain only as friends. I mean it's absolutely normal that a guy and a girl to simply be friends. I gave you advice when you were down and when you were too afraid to approach that girl you liked. But maybe that was what triggered your emotions to blossom. To be absolutely honest, I only registered panic when I began to realize that you wanted much more than friendship. And in that prolonged state of sheer panic, I just disappeared. I was tending to whatever pieces of me that was left after August. I wasn't brave enough to chase after uncertainty just yet. I was trying to protect myself, that was clearly a selfish act on my part. Reading about your frustration has only caused my guilt to increase by threefold. Maybe we're both just as broken by the pa...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough...  Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.  When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full.  They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured  them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.  The pebbles rolled into the open spaces between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.  Of course, the sand filled up everything else.  He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.' The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured...