Abstruse Musing

Tonight I found myself pondering about the pieces of myself from the past. That one thought has led me back here, a very personal outlet that I haven't frequented since 2012. The world as I know it now is vastly different from my last entry from almost 4.5 years ago. I wonder if my thoughts from all these years is still being read by someone or if someone related to my feelings at the time. Fast forward 4.5 years later and I am immersed in the corporate world. I've experienced change, found my other half, aggressively pursued my career goals and learned the hard way that work-life balance is important. To me, this blog holds a special place because everything I have experienced from the first entry has made me more resilient.

I tend to fall prey to these turbulent cycles of motivation. One moment, I would feel absolutely productive and motivated. Without any word of warning, I could be completely indifferent. Today my lecturer emailed me my mark for my essay, I made the premature assumption that I would be disappointed with my mark. I started it a few days before the due date and somehow, by pure miracle, managed to regurgitate a little over 2,000 words. Much to my surprise, I got distinction for my rushed piece. I hope this motivation remains with me, at least until I finish all my impending assessments. The memories which we hold dearest to us, almost always return to us in dreams. It is strange how we can forget what once mattered most to us, I feel as though some of my memories have been demoted to feeble manifestations. But I don't want to forget how I came to become this person, so I keep writing here once in a while. Each time I revisit these pages of writing, I recall both definitive and de...

I'm seriously lacking in the motivation department. Lately I've ben feeling quite apathetic about a lot of things; namely certain people and studies. Stability is one thing I need, surely that would be better than endless bouts of emotional toil. Maybe I just need to find what I want to pursue in life. I kind of miss being a child, we're free to dream and concoct as many potential careers in our mind. I don't want to write any more horrid reports. We're all pretty pissed off about molecular biology, the god damn positive controls didn't even work. Steven says he wants to write a letter of complaint regarding our lecturer, his aim is to get the guy fired. He certainly has my nod of approval, I'm seriously annoyed and pissed off. I've avoided talking to any depressed and troubled people lately. I mean how am I supposed to cheer up an unhappy person if I'm not feeling that great myself? I think I've reached my limit. I've...

So I missed class today. I think that hypotension business kicked back in yesterday. Lunch yesterday consisted of one gyoza and 2 Advils. Tasty? I slept a good 12 hours. It was such a good sleep. Note to self; get studying this week. Its always hard to take the very first step, but I'm going to try get my motivation back soon. I've come to realise I can't study without pretzels. Must've been a habit I picked up whilst studying with Olly and Jess last semester. I went to my lecture yesterday with a bag of pretzels. I just sat there munching for most of the 2 hour lecture. Ooh my sister came across a silly joke. As corny as it sounded, I quite liked it. A neutron walked into a bar & ordered a drink. He asked the bartender, "how much?" The bartender replied, "for you sir, no charge."