solemn assurances

Apparently today marks the start of a new year. We can all start 2010 on a clean slate. I have myriad feelings towards the start of this new decade. And so I must assume my usual grey monotone for I still feel disheartened by the arduous battles I have faced. While many of you are giddy and perhaps even excited for the start of new beginnings, I find myself pondering only upon the imaginary negative events which have yet to surface. I am what some what dub a 'worry wart'.

A while ago, I was talking to L (sorry another alias, hooray)... I feel indifferent once again, maybe I'm just in a pretty bad mood. Ironically, I feel distant. I'd rather not argue with you so early into the year. I'm tired, I think I'm about to give in. I'd rather sleep it off. And to be entirely honest, things have been pretty shit as of late. I would rather not delve into further details, but I'm sure I've disclosed this to a few of you that are reading. Regardless of whatever happens, I'll continue fighting on my personal front.

I think I really need to break away from everything, yes, absolutely everything. Before the month is out, I will stop writing for some period of time. I don't even know how long this some period of time will be. I know I'm not keen on making any new year resolutions, but perhaps this time is an exception. Learn to not expect and to let go.

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