altered perception
Today I met up with Huong, Tony and Huynh. It was a pleasant surprise to see them again, its been a while since I last saw them. We decided to drive to Hurstville, mind you, without the aid of a map. Its been a good 5 years since I've been there by car, and I had little or no recollection of how to get there. Thankfully our efforts did not fail, we reached our destination in due time. I am ever so thankful for road signs!
It was quite bland and nostalgic. I used to go up there everyday in primary school because my Mom worked there (at my Aunt's restaurant). I recoiled each time Tony mentioned the words "coffee", "icecream", and "games". I don't particularly dislike those words, I'd say they're my ultimate vice... Tony sure has grown up a lot, he's only 14 and almost as tall as me. And yes, I had coffee, icecream and browsed several game stores with him. Huong seems to have matured a fair bit, she will be 21 this coming August.
The day was fine until we wandered out to an arcade and I saw a person I don't want to see. Oh such an awkward sight, I couldn't bear to linger in that cursed arcade furthermore. I saw Phil. I swear, I thought I'd never see him again. I mean... What are the odds that I'd see him today? Then the thought occurs to me, he lives in Hurstville... The mere thought of Phil alludes to a mother refusing to let her child away from her sight. I was the child who was constantly called and checked on. I felt like I was holding my breath the entire time. But hey, I'm an adult so I'll learn to let go and forget.
For the past 9 or 10 months, I've wondered if I've done the right thing. Sometimes its hard to put an end to something habitual. Habitual or just refusal to let go? Gee, I really can't distinguish between those two right now. I think I've lost all sense. Theres a very fine line between whats right and wrong. And now that line seems to be diminishing at an even pace. I cannot seem to bring myself to say what I need to say. I'll give myself a further 3 months to say what is needed.
As time progresses, I seem to be losing my sense of righteousness. Its complicated, maybe complicated things should be left to catch dust and cast off. Time can alter perception. That is what I learned from Mr Mackenzie in Advanced English classes in high school. It took me 5 years to finally understand the depth of his wise words. It wasn't just a term you applied to prescribed texts, the works of Shakespeare, or poetry by Coleridge. It had much greater reason and insight behind it. I just never thought it could be applied to my perspective of life, myself and even certain people.
It was quite bland and nostalgic. I used to go up there everyday in primary school because my Mom worked there (at my Aunt's restaurant). I recoiled each time Tony mentioned the words "coffee", "icecream", and "games". I don't particularly dislike those words, I'd say they're my ultimate vice... Tony sure has grown up a lot, he's only 14 and almost as tall as me. And yes, I had coffee, icecream and browsed several game stores with him. Huong seems to have matured a fair bit, she will be 21 this coming August.
The day was fine until we wandered out to an arcade and I saw a person I don't want to see. Oh such an awkward sight, I couldn't bear to linger in that cursed arcade furthermore. I saw Phil. I swear, I thought I'd never see him again. I mean... What are the odds that I'd see him today? Then the thought occurs to me, he lives in Hurstville... The mere thought of Phil alludes to a mother refusing to let her child away from her sight. I was the child who was constantly called and checked on. I felt like I was holding my breath the entire time. But hey, I'm an adult so I'll learn to let go and forget.
For the past 9 or 10 months, I've wondered if I've done the right thing. Sometimes its hard to put an end to something habitual. Habitual or just refusal to let go? Gee, I really can't distinguish between those two right now. I think I've lost all sense. Theres a very fine line between whats right and wrong. And now that line seems to be diminishing at an even pace. I cannot seem to bring myself to say what I need to say. I'll give myself a further 3 months to say what is needed.
As time progresses, I seem to be losing my sense of righteousness. Its complicated, maybe complicated things should be left to catch dust and cast off. Time can alter perception. That is what I learned from Mr Mackenzie in Advanced English classes in high school. It took me 5 years to finally understand the depth of his wise words. It wasn't just a term you applied to prescribed texts, the works of Shakespeare, or poetry by Coleridge. It had much greater reason and insight behind it. I just never thought it could be applied to my perspective of life, myself and even certain people.
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