caffeine and delirium

I'm having major cravings for a caffeine beverage. I've opted to drink tea only now. My system is probably clogged up with way too much caffeine and chilli. But I would never give up on my beloved chilli, slight moderation should do the trick!
Its ironic how I can change my mind so quickly without so much as a thought. I listened to you mumble a bit for 20 odd minutes last night. And for some strange reason, I actually understood what you were saying. Maybe I was actually paying attention this time because I yearned to hear you speak. I wish there was some way for me to see some reason to all this. The reason I seek is a reason to leave this all behind.
I honestly don't know where to magically summon up my motivation. It seems my motivation is on a very long holiday and refuses to come back. I'm finding it hard to focus at home, theres just so many possible distractions at home. Today was my day off classes, but I've done everything else but hit the books. Maybe I should make a habit of studying at uni, theres barely any distractions there.
You've become my distraction and maybe sometimes I don't mind that at all. When I'm in a bad mood or my day is a total disaster, I just want to talk to you.
For some strange reason, I don't want to talk to you right now. I just can't make my mind up. I change my mind as frequently as the weather changes. Its great being indecisive...

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