Abstruse Musing

So I guess I sort of unconsciously skipped the part on why I'm taking a break. The internet is going to be disconnected by the time I wake up in the afternoon. I need some time to find myself again. I don't really want to be a robot that is on the computer on a daily basis. I think I need a bit of time for myself. I'd like to read more books, actually start jogging or boxercising again, and get a part time job. I find those things very hard to start when I can get myself distracted easily. I should probably start sleeping like a normal person... So for now au revoir !

This title is dedicated to Suzanne. She mentioned the theme song for Frasier and I just couldn't get it out of my head for a few days. And I guess the song is correct, life is a bit like tossed salad and scrambled eggs. You can't unscramble scrambled eggs. Okay, so this is the last entry I'd write in a while. I've learned a few things about myself;  I've realised is that I'm horrible at cultivating bonsai trees because I forget to water them. Sounds of rain falling help me fall asleep (thank you Brit). I don't think about you, but you're always on my mind. I'm so emotionally attached to my teddy bear, it even has a name (yes, I'm really 20 years old). I've got to stop quoting Seinfeld because no one besides Cindy gets it. People think I'm obsessed with nail polish and fried icecream (thank you facebook). Feigned enthusiasm is really difficult to uphold and easily noticed when followed by periods of silence. I read novels more t

4 more days. I guess I'm sort of binge posting until then. Its been a while since I had any sleep without disturbances, but thanks to Brit I had some proper sleep last night. Thank you for sending me that mp3, the sound of rain falling was quite soothing. Its nice to be able to just shut my eyes and not think too excessively. I came across a quote today, and I thought I'd share it. "We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." - Abraham Lincoln

Now I really can't sleep. I was tired, was is the keyword here. So seeing as I'm robbed of my sleep enough as it is, I'll just vent about something. The best thing is that my pill's drowsy effect has long worn off. I can't get some shut eye at all. For the past 3 or so years, I've been staying up late to study or work on assignments. My mind has been accustomed to much thinking and evaluating at night. This is the reason I can't sleep, I can't shut out my thoughts at night. I don't have to think when I'm asleep, I wish I wasn't an insomniac. Serenity now.

I should be asleep right now, but I'm no where near drowsy now. My inability to sleep probably began after my deferred exam for micro. I think a few things are worrying me. I'm worried about my results for the micro exam or if I'll get an offer for combined law and domestic disputes. Never mind all that, I just want to move on from that for now. There is plenty of time at hand to continue worrying. So I guess I had better explain the reason for my pending absence seeing as I haven't elaborated on it at all. I just need a bit of time away from things to re-evaluate my priorities in life. I think I need to just get away from all distractions temporarily. I suppose I'll finally get around to doing all the things I've been meaning to do and perhaps get my sleep back on track. I initially intended to write about a certain someone by the name of Kelvin. If you have a weak stomach I suggest you stop reading this paragraph and proceed to the next one. There never go

I can't sleep at all. All I've done is lie there listening to the wind bellowing and the leaves rustling outside my window. I've started reading Stephen King's "It" again. My sleeping patterns have become increasingly bizarre lately. I was still awake in bed when the rising sun painted bold hues of magnificent rouge and orange across the canvas sky. I hope I don't see the sun rising again today, I just want to sleep. Yes. Shit happens, thats life. I think I've come to accept that truth through the years, it is as natural as breathing or blinking. Events bearing negative impacts must happen. How else would we learn to value the better things in life? H once said to me that it was necessary that we brave the rain in order to appreciate the beauty of the rainbow that follows. I still remember the pained expression in your face when you said that. You've reversed roles with your parents. You have to protect your brother and encourage him, even when

Apparently today marks the start of a new year. We can all start 2010 on a clean slate. I have myriad feelings towards the start of this new decade. And so I must assume my usual grey monotone for I still feel disheartened by the arduous battles I have faced. While many of you are giddy and perhaps even excited for the start of new beginnings, I find myself pondering only upon the imaginary negative events which have yet to surface. I am what some what dub a 'worry wart'. A while ago, I was talking to L (sorry another alias, hooray)... I feel indifferent once again, maybe I'm just in a pretty bad mood. Ironically, I feel distant. I'd rather not argue with you so early into the year. I'm tired, I think I'm about to give in. I'd rather sleep it off. And to be entirely honest, things have been pretty shit as of late. I would rather not delve into further details, but I'm sure I've disclosed this to a few of you that are reading. Regardless of whatever