So I guess I sort of unconsciously skipped the part on why I'm taking a break. The internet is going to be disconnected by the time I wake up in the afternoon. I need some time to find myself again. I don't really want to be a robot that is on the computer on a daily basis. I think I need a bit of time for myself. I'd like to read more books, actually start jogging or boxercising again, and get a part time job. I find those things very hard to start when I can get myself distracted easily. I should probably start sleeping like a normal person...
So for now au revoir!
Friday, January 15, 2010
@ 4:23 AM
tossed salad & scrambled eggs
This title is dedicated to Suzanne. She mentioned the theme song for Frasier and I just couldn't get it out of my head for a few days. And I guess the song is correct, life is a bit like tossed salad & scrambled eggs. You can't unscramble scrambled eggs. Okay, so this is the last entry I'd write in a while.
I've learned a few things about myself;
I've realised is that I'm horrible at cultivating bonsai trees because I forget to water them.
Sounds of rain falling help me fall asleep (thank you Brit).
I don't think about you, but you're always on my mind.
I'm so emotionally attached to my teddy bear, it even has a name (yes, I'm really 20 years old).
I've got to stop quoting Seinfeld because no one besides Cindy gets it.
People think I'm obsessed with nail polish and fried icecream (thank you facebook).
Feigned enthusiasm is really difficult to uphold and easily noticed when followed by periods of silence.
I read novels more than I read my textbooks, I guess that explains why I constantly need to cram my studies.
I get excited whenever Spongebob is on tv (I assure you I really am 20).
Coffee is my vice. It is best enjoyed at 10pm whilst in good company over a game of Scrabble.
I'm still thinking about you.
So I guess I have a fair bit to change in myself over time. I definately need to cut the coffee at night, read novels at the right time, and give up on bonsai trees for now. Thank you for reading and offering me advice when I needed it the most, I truly appreciate that. I hope you all stay safe and hopefully I'll update again when the semester commences again. Oh I love this youtube video, it makes me want to get myself a kitten.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
@ 12:45 AM
roses & thorns
4 more days. I guess I'm sort of binge posting until then. Its been a while since I had any sleep without disturbances, but thanks to Brit I had some proper sleep last night. Thank you for sending me that mp3, the sound of rain falling was quite soothing. Its nice to be able to just shut my eyes and not think too excessively.
I came across a quote today, and I thought I'd share it.
"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." - Abraham Lincoln
Sunday, January 10, 2010
@ 10:10 PM
serenity now, serenity now
Now I really can't sleep. I was tired, was is the keyword here. So seeing as I'm robbed of my sleep enough as it is, I'll just vent about something.
The best thing is that my pill's drowsy effect has long worn off. I can't get some shut eye at all. For the past 3 or so years, I've been staying up late to study or work on assignments. My mind has been accustomed to much thinking and evaluating at night. This is the reason I can't sleep, I can't shut out my thoughts at night. I don't have to think when I'm asleep, I wish I wasn't an insomniac. Serenity now.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
@ 2:32 AM
an insomniac's agenda
I should be asleep right now, but I'm no where near drowsy now. My inability to sleep probably began after my deferred exam for micro. I think a few things are worrying me. I'm worried about my results for the micro exam or if I'll get an offer for combined law and domestic disputes. Never mind all that, I just want to move on from that for now. There is plenty of time at hand to continue worrying.
So I guess I had better explain the reason for my pending absence seeing as I haven't elaborated on it at all. I just need a bit of time away from things to re-evaluate my priorities in life. I think I need to just get away from all distractions temporarily. I suppose I'll finally get around to doing all the things I've been meaning to do and perhaps get my sleep back on track.
I initially intended to write about a certain someone by the name of Kelvin. If you have a weak stomach I suggest you stop reading this paragraph and proceed to the next one. There never goes a day when you don't cross my mind. When my day is an absolute wreck, just talking to you is comforting enough. I don't know how you do it, but somehow you just make those problems seem so insignificant and I can smile at ease again. They say it is human nature to not appreciate what we have until we have lost it. I guess through that I finally came to realise that you're important to me.
Great. Somehow I have to wake up at 7am to get ready for a game of basketball. I'm not even anywhere near drowsy. I find reading the novel "It" doesn't particularly help during these strange hours. I'm even more compelled to keep reading instead of getting some shut eye. Horror or thriller genre novels are my vice, I can't put them down. It is as my biology lecturer once said, I do read novels more than my textbooks.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
@ 2:28 AM
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary
I can't sleep at all. All I've done is lie there listening to the wind bellowing and the leaves rustling outside my window. I've started reading Stephen King's "It" again. My sleeping patterns have become increasingly bizarre lately. I was still awake in bed when the rising sun painted bold hues of magnificent rouge and orange across the canvas sky. I hope I don't see the sun rising again today, I just want to sleep.
Yes. Shit happens, thats life. I think I've come to accept that truth through the years, it is as natural as breathing or blinking. Events bearing negative impacts must happen. How else would we learn to value the better things in life? H once said to me that it was necessary that we brave the rain in order to appreciate the beauty of the rainbow that follows. I still remember the pained expression in your face when you said that.
You've reversed roles with your parents. You have to protect your brother and encourage him, even when you strain yourself to smile. Sometimes I worry for the both of you, I just hope the both of you will find true virtue somewhere down the line. A home is not just a house, it doesn't merely consist of bricks and mortar. You are the solid foundation which welds together your family and keeps everyone in place. I can see its not easy to be you, H.
I'll try to limit the sullen posts, afterall my days here feel numbered. I'd rather take my break on a happier note. So heres the buffer zone; I came across something pretty funny whilst reading... "How many frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" "One to hold the lightbulb and four to turn the house"
Seeing as I mentioned appreciating rainbows, heres one I stumbled upon... The Rainbow
Sunday, January 3, 2010
@ 4:30 AM
solemn assurances
Apparently today marks the start of a new year. We can all start 2010 on a clean slate. I have myriad feelings towards the start of this new decade. And so I must assume my usual grey monotone for I still feel disheartened by the arduous battles I have faced. While many of you are giddy and perhaps even excited for the start of new beginnings, I find myself pondering only upon the imaginary negative events which have yet to surface. I am what some what dub a 'worry wart'.
A while ago, I was talking to L (sorry another alias, hooray)... I feel indifferent once again, maybe I'm just in a pretty bad mood. Ironically, I feel distant. I'd rather not argue with you so early into the year. I'm tired, I think I'm about to give in. I'd rather sleep it off. And to be entirely honest, things have been pretty shit as of late. I would rather not delve into further details, but I'm sure I've disclosed this to a few of you that are reading. Regardless of whatever happens, I'll continue fighting on my personal front.
I think I really need to break away from everything, yes, absolutely everything. Before the month is out, I will stop writing for some period of time. I don't even know how long this some period of time will be. I know I'm not keen on making any new year resolutions, but perhaps this time is an exception. Learn to not expect and to let go.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
@ 2:59 AM
nomadic quest
So I guess I sort of unconsciously skipped the part on why I'm taking a break. The internet is going to be disconnected by the time I wake up in the afternoon. I need some time to find myself again. I don't really want to be a robot that is on the computer on a daily basis. I think I need a bit of time for myself. I'd like to read more books, actually start jogging or boxercising again, and get a part time job. I find those things very hard to start when I can get myself distracted easily. I should probably start sleeping like a normal person...
So for now au revoir!
Friday, January 15, 2010
@ 4:23 AM
tossed salad & scrambled eggs
This title is dedicated to Suzanne. She mentioned the theme song for Frasier and I just couldn't get it out of my head for a few days. And I guess the song is correct, life is a bit like tossed salad & scrambled eggs. You can't unscramble scrambled eggs. Okay, so this is the last entry I'd write in a while.
I've learned a few things about myself;
I've realised is that I'm horrible at cultivating bonsai trees because I forget to water them.
Sounds of rain falling help me fall asleep (thank you Brit).
I don't think about you, but you're always on my mind.
I'm so emotionally attached to my teddy bear, it even has a name (yes, I'm really 20 years old).
I've got to stop quoting Seinfeld because no one besides Cindy gets it.
People think I'm obsessed with nail polish and fried icecream (thank you facebook).
Feigned enthusiasm is really difficult to uphold and easily noticed when followed by periods of silence.
I read novels more than I read my textbooks, I guess that explains why I constantly need to cram my studies.
I get excited whenever Spongebob is on tv (I assure you I really am 20).
Coffee is my vice. It is best enjoyed at 10pm whilst in good company over a game of Scrabble.
I'm still thinking about you.
So I guess I have a fair bit to change in myself over time. I definately need to cut the coffee at night, read novels at the right time, and give up on bonsai trees for now. Thank you for reading and offering me advice when I needed it the most, I truly appreciate that. I hope you all stay safe and hopefully I'll update again when the semester commences again. Oh I love this youtube video, it makes me want to get myself a kitten.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
@ 12:45 AM
roses & thorns
4 more days. I guess I'm sort of binge posting until then. Its been a while since I had any sleep without disturbances, but thanks to Brit I had some proper sleep last night. Thank you for sending me that mp3, the sound of rain falling was quite soothing. Its nice to be able to just shut my eyes and not think too excessively.
I came across a quote today, and I thought I'd share it.
"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." - Abraham Lincoln
Sunday, January 10, 2010
@ 10:10 PM
serenity now, serenity now
Now I really can't sleep. I was tired, was is the keyword here. So seeing as I'm robbed of my sleep enough as it is, I'll just vent about something.
The best thing is that my pill's drowsy effect has long worn off. I can't get some shut eye at all. For the past 3 or so years, I've been staying up late to study or work on assignments. My mind has been accustomed to much thinking and evaluating at night. This is the reason I can't sleep, I can't shut out my thoughts at night. I don't have to think when I'm asleep, I wish I wasn't an insomniac. Serenity now.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
@ 2:32 AM
an insomniac's agenda
I should be asleep right now, but I'm no where near drowsy now. My inability to sleep probably began after my deferred exam for micro. I think a few things are worrying me. I'm worried about my results for the micro exam or if I'll get an offer for combined law and domestic disputes. Never mind all that, I just want to move on from that for now. There is plenty of time at hand to continue worrying.
So I guess I had better explain the reason for my pending absence seeing as I haven't elaborated on it at all. I just need a bit of time away from things to re-evaluate my priorities in life. I think I need to just get away from all distractions temporarily. I suppose I'll finally get around to doing all the things I've been meaning to do and perhaps get my sleep back on track.
I initially intended to write about a certain someone by the name of Kelvin. If you have a weak stomach I suggest you stop reading this paragraph and proceed to the next one. There never goes a day when you don't cross my mind. When my day is an absolute wreck, just talking to you is comforting enough. I don't know how you do it, but somehow you just make those problems seem so insignificant and I can smile at ease again. They say it is human nature to not appreciate what we have until we have lost it. I guess through that I finally came to realise that you're important to me.
Great. Somehow I have to wake up at 7am to get ready for a game of basketball. I'm not even anywhere near drowsy. I find reading the novel "It" doesn't particularly help during these strange hours. I'm even more compelled to keep reading instead of getting some shut eye. Horror or thriller genre novels are my vice, I can't put them down. It is as my biology lecturer once said, I do read novels more than my textbooks.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
@ 2:28 AM
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary
I can't sleep at all. All I've done is lie there listening to the wind bellowing and the leaves rustling outside my window. I've started reading Stephen King's "It" again. My sleeping patterns have become increasingly bizarre lately. I was still awake in bed when the rising sun painted bold hues of magnificent rouge and orange across the canvas sky. I hope I don't see the sun rising again today, I just want to sleep.
Yes. Shit happens, thats life. I think I've come to accept that truth through the years, it is as natural as breathing or blinking. Events bearing negative impacts must happen. How else would we learn to value the better things in life? H once said to me that it was necessary that we brave the rain in order to appreciate the beauty of the rainbow that follows. I still remember the pained expression in your face when you said that.
You've reversed roles with your parents. You have to protect your brother and encourage him, even when you strain yourself to smile. Sometimes I worry for the both of you, I just hope the both of you will find true virtue somewhere down the line. A home is not just a house, it doesn't merely consist of bricks and mortar. You are the solid foundation which welds together your family and keeps everyone in place. I can see its not easy to be you, H.
I'll try to limit the sullen posts, afterall my days here feel numbered. I'd rather take my break on a happier note. So heres the buffer zone; I came across something pretty funny whilst reading... "How many frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" "One to hold the lightbulb and four to turn the house"
Seeing as I mentioned appreciating rainbows, heres one I stumbled upon... The Rainbow
Sunday, January 3, 2010
@ 4:30 AM
solemn assurances
Apparently today marks the start of a new year. We can all start 2010 on a clean slate. I have myriad feelings towards the start of this new decade. And so I must assume my usual grey monotone for I still feel disheartened by the arduous battles I have faced. While many of you are giddy and perhaps even excited for the start of new beginnings, I find myself pondering only upon the imaginary negative events which have yet to surface. I am what some what dub a 'worry wart'.
A while ago, I was talking to L (sorry another alias, hooray)... I feel indifferent once again, maybe I'm just in a pretty bad mood. Ironically, I feel distant. I'd rather not argue with you so early into the year. I'm tired, I think I'm about to give in. I'd rather sleep it off. And to be entirely honest, things have been pretty shit as of late. I would rather not delve into further details, but I'm sure I've disclosed this to a few of you that are reading. Regardless of whatever happens, I'll continue fighting on my personal front.
I think I really need to break away from everything, yes, absolutely everything. Before the month is out, I will stop writing for some period of time. I don't even know how long this some period of time will be. I know I'm not keen on making any new year resolutions, but perhaps this time is an exception. Learn to not expect and to let go.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
@ 2:59 AM
Profile
Ahoy! My name is Betty but I go by the nickname Bertie.
I'm an introvert and an extrovert.
I'm a nocturnal and I tend to do everything in the last minute.
Oh and I like long walks to the pantry :D
Childhood is measured out by sounds, smells & sights
before the dark hour of reason grows.
- John Betjetmen
