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2020 vision

Here I am again, it has been 3 years since I last posted here. We all had so many hopes for 2020, but it has been disaster after disaster everywhere for countless people. I wonder what the world will be like when I frequent this personal place again. I hope we are all at a better place. Whilst the pandemic has been challenging, I have thought a lot over the past 6+ months working at home (I've lost track of time).  I am resilient. But I think you can only be resilient for so long, it is a constant state of flux and you cannot be expected to be resilient for sustained period of time. I keep pushing myself to do more, be more and seek more. And so I'm here to admit that I'm not okay, but I will work on getting back on track. I am burnt out in both an emotional and professional capacity. I am at a crossroad.  I may be facing a personal loss soon. I don't know if I have the capacity to try do anything about this, I want to but I don't know if I have the ability to fight

Lust for life

I was told I needed surgery in a few days, it was a surprise to me. The anaesthetist saw me and commented, " I wasn't expecting someone so young ." I was upset by the time I got to the operating theatre, I was administered more relaxant whilst everyone present reassured me that I would be fine. I was sedated and aware of my surroundings, I heard the doctors commenting but I couldn't see what was happening (thankfully). It felt alien - I was an observer, a passenger and not quite present in the moment. Thanks to the experience of the operating team and advancements in modern medicine, I'm on the steady road to recovery. The last three weeks of my life seemed like a dream, still not quite present in the moment. I've reflected on my life, relationships, career and my hopes for the future. I still want to achieve more. The notion of happiness will always be a constant struggle of achieving some semblance of status quo. Happiness is an equilibrium, fleeting and

Fast forward to 2017

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Tonight I found myself pondering about the pieces of myself from the past. That one thought has led me back here, a very personal outlet that I haven't frequented since 2012. The world as I know it now is vastly different from my last entry from almost 4.5 years ago. I wonder if my thoughts from all these years is still being read by someone or if someone related to my feelings at the time. Fast forward 4.5 years later and I am immersed in the corporate world. I've experienced change, found my other half, aggressively pursued my career goals and learned the hard way that work-life balance is important. To me, this blog holds a special place because everything I have experienced from the first entry has made me more resilient.

picking up where I left things

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I haven't really relaxed much since exams ended, I took today off to just take my mind off the exam results. I truly am a worry wart. I did a little bit of christmas shopping today, seems I've got my secret santa present sorted out. After a long day of walking around and carrying my shopping around, I find myself at home and in front of my macbook. I registered another domain name within five minutes of sitting in my seat. I didn't like the first domain name I registered, my sister thought it sounded rather childish. I think this new one is a little childish too, but I do like the Doctor Who reference. I've been weighing up between Aperture or Lightroom 4, I think the latter has won. I'll get started on this when the DNS hosting comes online in a day or two. Before editing After Lightroom

curiouser and curiouser

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I have my exams this week so I probably won't update for at least a week from now. Hopefully things go well, I've got my fingers crossed. I just purchased a 12-50mm lens and Hoya UV filter today, I'm looking forward to taking some still life photos. I foresee a trip to Katoomba in the near future. I had an interesting conversation with a photographer today, I'm inspired and compelled to continue this hobby.   Little Cosmo is finally seven and a half months old, my sister and I plan on taking him to the vet in a few weeks for a DNA test. We think Cosmo is a boy, but we can't be sure. For now, I'll refer to Cosmo as he. We named him after  Cosmo Kramer  from Seinfeld, I believe it is a befitting name. He loves going into my other bird's cage unannounced, eats all the food and does whatever he pleases.

life lines

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I haven't really been out and about taking photos lately. I'm essentially learning as I go and I still have a great deal to learn. I showed my sister these photos and she was surprised when I told her they were taken in the backyard. It's interesting how photography can challenge your perception and allow you to see things from a different perspective. Image credit:  impossibleastronaut

halloween x día de los muertos

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The other day I changed my mind about what costume I was going to wear to a Halloween gathering. I got a little creative... I didn't have any white face paint so I just put on foundation and a lot of concealer. I didn't have any black face paint either so I just substituted it with gel eyeliner. I rather enjoyed explaining to people what my costume was, although I didn't enjoy removing all that sugar skull makeup. I hope you all had an enjoyable Halloween.