blasphemy

Today was a terrible day. Things just didn't work out too well for me. It was a magnificently grey day for me. I slept in, couldn't get ready on time. Train was delayed 15 minutes. Caught a bus without checking the bus number, ended up no where near uni. Walked to uni for a good 15-20 minutes. Maybe I should've just stayed in bed and avoided all that fuss.

Microbiology practical was an absolute disaster. There was an apathetic person amongst our group, who I'll name as "R". This R person just sat there for most of the lesson whilst we carried out the experiments. R proceeded to get comfortable in sloth mode until I asked her to do some work. I felt like prodding her constantly with a stick to get her moving. Casey got pretty annoyed with the R, as we all were. At the end of class, R approaches me and says its plausible she'd drop the unit. I just smiled and responded in a friendly manner. Truthfully, I was annoyed for the entire excruciating 3 hours.

So now we're short one person for our project. I mean, she approached us to join our group in the first place. And she had no intentions of staying enrolled in microbiology. I could've found another person to join, one who will share the workload until the project is finished. Then it occurs to me, microbiology must be cursed. This happened in microbiology1 as well. A girl left our group and had a bitter fight in class with Casey, which inevitably ended in tears (the other girl anyway). I'm thankful the same thing didn't occur today.

Reading Susu's blog stimulates some thinking of my own. I wonder what I have left to say to you. I wish you could tell me if it was worth grasping onto something so silly. I've stopped texting you, I really think I should get over it. I sleep early so I don't have to talk to you when I'm half asleep. I hate this, I hate how you lie to me, and most of all; I hate how you keep lying to me...

It feels like I'm inflicting wounds on myself as I remain here thinking about you. You keep lying to me and I continue to overlook it. But why should I be surprised? Its happened more than once. Each and everytime I doubted what people told me. I never listened, even when the answer was literally screaming at me.

I'd rather worry about my studies than to ponder over something so mediocre.

You started out as a stranger and you're still a stranger to me. Why is it so hard to ignore a perfect stranger?

"Hello, what are you doing?"
"Hey. Oh not much. Just sleeping..."
"Oh, go back to sleep. Sweet dreams."

Perhaps this calls for a few more episodes of Seinfeld.