Abstruse Musing

I've been rather fatigued lately. Between going to classes and work, any free time is usually spent by sleeping or reading a good book. I was going to sleep but I figured I'd write an update. I'm not really looking forward to work, but the monetary benefit is the main contributing factor to my eagerness. Honestly, ever since I started working there the whole experience has been nothing but a power play. Yes, it has brought our families a little closer. But I cannot deny that the dormant competition between us has resurfaced once again. We had dinner to celebrate my aunt and my sister's birthday just yesterday. It was a friendly affair but it was laced with poignant hostility. I felt rather uncomfortable about it. There is a reason why I never particularly warmed to my family, that occasion was one of them. I was reading one of Tobias Wolff's books and one particular line he wrote resonated with wisdom and truth. Power can be enjoyed only when it is recognized an...

Not long after my previous post, I did consider not working at my cousin's place. My thoughts have not wavered since then. Working with family has proven to be a rather strenuous task and I feel I should avoid the possibility of heated confrontations. When I say heated confrontations, I really mean myself. I used to be like a Mimosa pudica , but now I do not shy away when I need to be aggressive or defensive. I'm stubborn, I don't like to apologize, I'm quick tempered and among a myriad of other things. And if I were to exhibit such attributes in your presence, then I guess I'm not really trying to be attentive to your feelings. My friend said that she sees a competitive side to me. I don't think anyone ever noticed that side because I've always concealed that part of myself. When we are young, all that we wanted to do was hurry up and grow up. Yet when we do grow up, all we want to do was be a child once again. Wouldn't it be nice to live in a worl...

So today has been the second day of working at my cousin's place. I'm tired but I figured I'd write.  On the first day, I literally blanked out when my co-workers spoke to me in chinese. I mean I understood what they were saying to me, but I just couldn't put the words together and say them. I guess this is what happens when you only speak english at home. Luckily enough, I was speaking fluent chinese again by the end of the day. It's a good thing I grew up watching television shows from Hong Kong. I feel obligated to keep working there (at least for a while) because my sister quit after working there one day. I don't want to let my cousin down nor my colleagues. Speaking of colleagues, I found one of them to be rather good looking. Pity I can't speak mandarin, at least there's some eye candy at work. Exams are right around the corner, there's another 3 weeks left in the semester. I received the wedding invitation in the mail yesterday. I have n...

I didn't bother going to the doctor on Saturday. I'm going to brush it off and assume it's just about the antibiotics. Honestly, I slept in until 4pm. I couldn't be bothered to make the trip to the clinic. And as for my cousin, he needs someone to fill in a couple of days of work. I appreciate the opportunity, but I have doubts whether I'd fit in. I'm not particularly fluent in speaking mandarin and most of the employees there are fluent. I spoke to my friend who had just recently got married, I missed her wedding since I was sick. She invited me and a friend over to meet her family, I'm rather looking forward to it. She sounded really happy and told me that there were sparks between two people at the wedding. I wonder how that will go! Today my  friend  from university told me she was getting married in June. I was really excited, seeing as I missed my other friend's wedding. I know I haven't been exactly sure with what I wanted to do. But I kn...

Exam timetables have been released, I'd say it's looking alright. I'm still putting together a present for Mother's Day, I haven't worked on it as much as I would've liked to though. I keep a planner and I can't even remember when I have to complete things by. I guess writing in it is a good idea, reading it every now and then is even more important. I was half asleep when the receptionist at the doctor's clinic called today. I'm sure she could tell I had only just woken up. I asked her if she knew why I the doctor had asked me to see him, she said she didn't know. I shouldn't think too much, he's probably checking to see if I've recovered after taking antibiotics. I'd like to think that, but I don't think that's the reason. I should stop scaring myself and just drop by the clinic on Saturday. P.S. I'll be changing my blog address at the start of July, I'll keep you guys posted.