broken chords
Sometimes I lose track of just how much crap I keep bottled up inside. Sometimes I raise my voice and shout. Sometimes I just break down and cry. Today was one of those days. This evening was an evening I probably will not forget. It was an evening of holistic emotions. One which started with ambivalence, followed by anger, resentment, and much melancholy.
After micro pract, me and Friend B didn't talk. We just made our way to the bus and sat alone. But I felt I should say something, so I texted telling her we needed to talk once we got off the bus. I thought it would not be wise to tell her off, since there is still group work to get completed. I merely stated I was ill last week and she shouldn't think otherwise. She contended she was not annoyed about that last week. Whether that is true or not doesn't matter to me. So we departed on a rather "good" ending, no bitter brawl. Little did I know, trouble was brewing ahead of me. This day was far from over.
I was supposed to meet some friends down at the taxi stand, so I sat down at some chairs there. Then these stupid people started honking their car and I was starting to get agitated. I had just popped two Stemzines in the last 4 hours and my head was throbbing. So I decided to move away from the racket. And thats when a guy parked in a car yelled out that I was an "idiot" or "stupid". I think I was too angry to even hear whatever words he yelled from that vile mouth. I just knew my natural defence mechanism was to retaliate and retaliate.
So I stopped dead in my tracks, turned around and yelled at this imbecile. Mind you, there was profanity from both sides. I felt so compelled to throw the two hard cover lab manuals I was holding onto this idiot's car. But I couldn't, I had to hand those lab manuals in this Friday. I told this idiot to get a life and walked off, of course, we were still shouting at each other... I don't know why, I turned the corner into a dimly lit bus stop and just bawled my eyes out. I really don't know why. Maybe I was stressed. Maybe the Stemzine was driving me insane. Maybe I just really needed to release whatever else I had bottled up inside.
So in the end, Tim and Dani had to come pick me up... I remember talking to them on the phone and crying, I think I really scared them. A stranger approached me and asked if I was okay, I told him I was fine. But I really didn't feel that way, in fact, I didn't know if I was going to be okay like this. I stopped crying once Tim and Dani came and calmed me down. I feel thankful that they came, and I really appreciate that they came to my aid when I was in such an emotional wreck. I really don't know how I would've coped. I really broke down this evening. I was in such a mess. I guess it's times like this that you know who your real friends are.
Never in my life, have I ever wished I had a textbook handy. I would've thrown my textbook with all my might at that bastard's car. That would've been the best $100 or so dollars I've spent in my entire life. I started to wish I had thrown my hard cover lab manual at that prick's car. Hostility is not really a good exhibition, especially not in a public place. But whatever, he started it, I had to retaliate. I'm not going to stand there and walk away quietly. I have my dignity. I hope that prick chokes on some oxygen.
After micro pract, me and Friend B didn't talk. We just made our way to the bus and sat alone. But I felt I should say something, so I texted telling her we needed to talk once we got off the bus. I thought it would not be wise to tell her off, since there is still group work to get completed. I merely stated I was ill last week and she shouldn't think otherwise. She contended she was not annoyed about that last week. Whether that is true or not doesn't matter to me. So we departed on a rather "good" ending, no bitter brawl. Little did I know, trouble was brewing ahead of me. This day was far from over.
I was supposed to meet some friends down at the taxi stand, so I sat down at some chairs there. Then these stupid people started honking their car and I was starting to get agitated. I had just popped two Stemzines in the last 4 hours and my head was throbbing. So I decided to move away from the racket. And thats when a guy parked in a car yelled out that I was an "idiot" or "stupid". I think I was too angry to even hear whatever words he yelled from that vile mouth. I just knew my natural defence mechanism was to retaliate and retaliate.
So I stopped dead in my tracks, turned around and yelled at this imbecile. Mind you, there was profanity from both sides. I felt so compelled to throw the two hard cover lab manuals I was holding onto this idiot's car. But I couldn't, I had to hand those lab manuals in this Friday. I told this idiot to get a life and walked off, of course, we were still shouting at each other... I don't know why, I turned the corner into a dimly lit bus stop and just bawled my eyes out. I really don't know why. Maybe I was stressed. Maybe the Stemzine was driving me insane. Maybe I just really needed to release whatever else I had bottled up inside.
So in the end, Tim and Dani had to come pick me up... I remember talking to them on the phone and crying, I think I really scared them. A stranger approached me and asked if I was okay, I told him I was fine. But I really didn't feel that way, in fact, I didn't know if I was going to be okay like this. I stopped crying once Tim and Dani came and calmed me down. I feel thankful that they came, and I really appreciate that they came to my aid when I was in such an emotional wreck. I really don't know how I would've coped. I really broke down this evening. I was in such a mess. I guess it's times like this that you know who your real friends are.
Never in my life, have I ever wished I had a textbook handy. I would've thrown my textbook with all my might at that bastard's car. That would've been the best $100 or so dollars I've spent in my entire life. I started to wish I had thrown my hard cover lab manual at that prick's car. Hostility is not really a good exhibition, especially not in a public place. But whatever, he started it, I had to retaliate. I'm not going to stand there and walk away quietly. I have my dignity. I hope that prick chokes on some oxygen.
Comments
Post a Comment