serenity now

So today I had to visit the doctor so he could fill in my special consideration form. I opted to walk to the clinic, which is roughly 15 minutes away. It was a grey day. I was armed with my transparent blue umbrella and walked through the light sprinkle to the clinic. There was much thought between the journey to the clinic and back home. I realised I'm not quite as angry as I thought I was. Life is too short to be spent harbouring resentment or being vindictive.

You have to take whatever life throws at you, sadly, there isn't a pause or rewind button. Nor is there an alternative ending like some of those "Goosebumps" books. Somewhere along the line, I've lost sight of what I want. Each step I take now wasn't made with utmost certainty, but rather for the sake of going with whatever life presents to me. There are still some things bothering me and I guess I have yet to learn to let go.

I was watching Seinfeld yesterday and one particular thing Frank Costanza said was quite amusing. He'd bellow "serenity now" at the top of his voice whenever he was getting angry or annoyed. He said it was a way to make himself relax or reduce his blood pressure. But I don't see how shouting it and saying it in vain would alleviate any anger at all.

Serenity now, insanity later.

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