Abstruse Musing

I could use some cheering up during this time of the semester. This calls for a happy post (okay, I totally stole Suze's idea there)... Good times in first year... Minus stressing over the Chem 1 exam Amy's birthday dinner. Her kids are the sweetest things. Silly Noddy, thats only your reflection! I think he has some self esteem issues... I wonder how many giggles it took before we got into our costumes. You guys made me laugh so much. I love you guys haha Sure things can get pretty stressful at times and sometimes I feel like giving up. I'm glad my friends are still there to make me smile through the thick and thin. Oh Sara... I know me and Pisan are so pretty in that picture.

There is nothing quite like coffee at Mars Hill, I love the comfortable and warm feeling of that cafe. I adore the brightly coloured walls, filled bookshelves, chess board tables, walls adorned with aesthetically pleasing art and the inviting aroma of coffee. I could call this place home. A home of board games and coffee... It was nice to see Nesa again yesterday, its been quite some time since I last saw her. She is pretty much the only one I've kept in contact with since quitting my job two years ago. Another work buddy lives 10 minutes away from me, but I guess I didn't have too much in common with her. I miss gossiping with the Nesa and just talking about life, I'm glad I dragged my limp corpse out of the house to meet her again... ... plus I got a new view of the riverside. I felt bad that I came fashionably late and Nesa stood by the river waiting for me to arrive (my apologies Nesa!). I never quite noticed the serenity of the riverside, especially during this t...

It was another seemingly long day, 6 hours straight of class. North campus to south campus... Today my bag seemed heavier, I didn't even bother to bring my HR textbook today. It was as though time was not progressing, the notion of time seemed so irrelevant. Of course it was irrelevant, for I did not sleep at all. I was transfixed with the menial task of completing my biochem lab manual during the finest hours of the night. I still stand by my nocturnal ways, I strictly prefer tending to my studies at such bizarre hours of the night (or rather morning). Although I have grown accustomed to this lifestyle, there is no doubt that it is doing my health no good in the long term. I've been staying up til morning much more often as of late. Once a week seemed to have done me no harm. Yet in the past few weeks, I soon found the frequency of this habit escalating. Once a week quickly became two or (on some rare occasions) three nights out of the week. Today w...

I woke up feeling so drained of life. I think the last few all nighters has really done it for me. I got home yesterday from the micro test at 7pm and slept til morning. Sure, that was the longest sleep I've had in ages... But I think I've grown too accustomed to sleeping 4-8 hours. I feel so dead if my sleep goes beyond 8 hours. I felt pretty sullen upon waking up today, then I decided to read a blog I recently discovered. Its quite a quirky blog and I guess there are some things I can relate to. It totally made my day when I read this particular blog entry... the bimbo blog So yeah Cindy is sitting her HSC english paper as I write this, I hope she finds it okay. This is a very stressful time for many students, I can still remember when I was in their position 3 years ago. But I guess all that stress will eventually be worth it in the end. Cindy says she wants to apply for oral health or science, she seems pretty keen on becoming a dentist. I guess...

A while ago, someone said something which I continued to ponder  upon.  Time goes by, you can't let it consume you. I'm still thinking about that, but its more plausible to say my thoughts are consuming me. Everything seems so out of focus right now... I've wasted a good hour sitting here reading a very interesting blog. I really must not read any more blog entries nor fagbook any more, my test is not on either one of those topics! Think microbiology and pathways! Everyone has slept, except me. Its 8:30am now, and I'm famished. I got the new Vegemite last night, its not as salty as the original... I've come to discover the new Vegemite tastes really nice with pitted olives in a sandwich. Strange combination I know, my family gave me really strange looks... My thoughts are still consuming me.

Everything tastes so bland, bland like cardboard. The only thing I can taste is the bitter aftertaste of medicine. I'm still as lethargic as ever, perhaps even worse today. My shoulders are aching. It probably wasn't a good idea nodding off at the computer or having 10 minute nap on the couch. So that essay was somewhat completed, I thought I would never complete this task. I still have to do my micro quiz tonight, patch up my biochem lab book and get working on the micro assignment. I wonder if I have time to sleep at all tonight. I was anticipating seeing J tomorrow but I'm not even sure if I can make it now. Don't get me wrong, I do want to catch up with her. Its just that I don't want to get her sick as well. I am a person that gets distracted very easily, I'm afraid I'll get too distracted and not finish everything in time. I must get my micro quiz done by tonight then, I better study and learn those pathways. Hopefully I'll look a little more a...

It feels horrible inside. I hate being sick and lethargic. I haven't been too productive with my HR critique. The bulk of my time was spent coughing and making tissue wontons, my nose is running like a tap. Maybe I'll catch the train in 3 hours and make my way to the uni computer labs. I should go to the biochem lecture, besides I'd have 4 hours at hand to complete my essay and submit it online. I guess thats my plan, whether I'll follow suit is a real mystery to me. I discovered nodding off at the computer is quite literally a pain in the neck. I guess old habits really are hard to break. I've literally lost all sense, cognitive sense for the most part. Maybe it is too late to walk away afterall. Sense or sensibility, I wouldn't know which to choose. I've grown to loathe ambiguity.

So it seems Cindy and I were quite famished at around 11pm, we had porridge for dinner seeing as we had no appetite to eat. I suggested we walk out to grab ourselves a snack at around midnight, it was an insane idea to walk around at midnight... But she somehow bought that idea. Cindy decided she would take her bike and I decided I would walk (seeing as I can't ride a bike). It was quite an odd scene indeed. We quietly opened the garage door so she could fetch her bike, we tried to make haste and not make much noise. Surely, if our neighbours had seen us they would've mistaken us for robbers. The streets looked very eerie at midnight, the streetlights rendered a strange glow on the path, and the barren roads bestowed a rather alienated atmosphere. Except one thing my senses came upon soon calmed my nerves, the smell of eucalyptus trees that were recently planted at the nearby park. I found that aroma very calming and familiar, I think it even cleared up my sinus. Walking pa...

I slept 16 hours last night, I woke up feeling just as lifeless as I was the day before. My medicine tastes like crap. Why doesn't this medicine have that film around it like Panadol? I can't even speak properly now, I'm losing my voice and coughing as often as I breathe. I wonder if I can finish two assignments this weekend, there that HR essay and micro to do... Honestly, I don't care about Friend A any more. I would rather not continue thinking about  insignificant people. There are some people you want to keep in your life, and there are some you would rather do without. Friend A would fit in the latter category. So say what you will, I'm sure those crude comments will be the demise of yourself. Yesterday I spoke to Linda during biochem pract, I really don't know how she had so much patience to withstand her micro lab partner. I finally got a glimpse of what a bizarre character he was on Tuesday. He came and asked if he had the right loading dye, but ins...

Today I ran into an old friend, a rather wise friend actually. I can't recall the last time I had such an in depth and meaningful conversation much like this one. The funny thing was, in the past this friend and I just spoke of aspirations of the future. Two years had past since those talks and I guess we have found something else in common. This friend, K, has a profound love of literature (poetry in fact). Something K said today sparked much thinking... Writing can be the one thing that allows you to transcend the boundaries of common understanding. In my mind, the theory of relativity is just that everything is relative to what you perceive. And you're quite right K... Words are nothing but letters put together to better understand each other better. I wonder when I'll be as wise and articulate as you. Somewhere along the road, you discovered your true aspirations of the future and you're living that dream now. I guess I had better catch up to you soon.

Sylvie left this morning. It seems strange knowing that I won't get to see her smiling face until April, thats if she does come back permanently. I didn't want to cry in front of her, so I left her a letter in her going away present. I recall myself writing that letter two nights ago at 3am and getting all teary eyed. I'll miss Sylvie. She is still the same genuine and sincere person I met back in 3rd grade. I've realised that I can't take Friend A any more. Friend B told me she won't be coming into class today because she is too angry to face Friend A. I deliberated not coming in as well, but I contended I should give her one last chance. I would survive that excruciating 3 hours with her in the pract. I wished Friend B was there, she is the buffer zone that keeps the balance within this so-called group. I didn't speak to Friend A in class, I just carried on collected all the required apparatus, put dye in the DNA assays and centrifuged them. The demon...

Still annoyed. I wonder why I even bother with you. Apparently Friend B had some sort of confrontation with Friend A. Despite the fact that Friend B has access to Friend A's twitter, she is still writing those famously crude comments. I've never seen Friend B get so angry at someone in all 2.5 (or so) years I've known her. The only reason I wrote about Friend A was because she started it, I have never met anyone so unsympathetic in all my life. I think I may have grown to dislike her. Yet more so in the recent days, this dislike has begun lapsing into hatred. Ignoring the mumbler, its been two days. I haven't responded to texts. I haven't even bothered to pick up the calls. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing here. Am I just blinded by sheer anger associated with the Friend A situation? Well stuff that. Today I went shopping with Cindy and sorted all her formal things out. So I guess she will have a...