relics of the past

I'm not perfect. I had a grey childhood and I never particularly warmed to my father. Honestly, every relationship I've had has ended the same. When I find out the person was sincere towards me, all that I registered was a state of sheer panic. It's not that the feelings weren't mutual, I just have a morbid fear of commitment. I can't even bring myself to talk about this, so here I am writing.

I feel obliged to stand up against anyone remotely hostile or plain annoying because they remind me of my father. Perhaps I am fast becoming the one person that I despise. This part of me certainly isn't the change that I wanted to see in myself. Perhaps 5 subjects was a little too overbearing, naturally I dropped one subject.

Whatever feelings I had or have could never possibly transcend time and distance. Sometimes I wonder if this is just me being bitter about the outcome. I was fearful that I was moving so slowly, I was so petty minded to believe that. The greatest fear in life is not that you're progressing slowly, but rather it is that you're going no where. So move forward at your own pace, stop comparing yourself to everyone.

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