the fine tooth comb

As we age, we learn from our mistakes. An acquaintance said that taking chances equates to marginally lesser remorse in the long run. Albeit, at first I agreed with their simplistic views. Upon thinking about it further, I realised that such a notion would completely conflict with my personality.

I don't feel comfortable taking a risk without properly and thoroughly thinking it through. I make calculated risks from observations and facts. Sometimes I wish I had the virtue of being simple minded. I've long since realised this could no longer be a reality for me. In some situations, I wished I could be stupid and do what I want. What we want may not always be righteous.

The facade I built still exists today. I feel embarrassed about displaying emotions apart from happiness and anger. I can openly express these two opposite ends of the spectrum. What lies in between is still a constant struggle for me to exhibit. I'm dreading work with the weekend staff after my emotional breakdown last weekend.

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